Hamburg restaurant serves up a “wild” menu

BY ENNIS JOKIN

Ruse Restaurant Reviewer

China Queen has been the talk of Hamburg for over a year now. The

residents have been abuzz over the exotic selections on the menu.

The restaurant is a large one, painted in rustic colors that resemble the colors

that adorned the tanks in Tiannamen Square.

The service was rather slow as the two waitresses that were on duty were

busy attempting to drag a moose through the front door. We were served by a nice

fellow named Cato.

I started the evening with an order of fortune cookies. They were rather stale

and I found it quite unusual that each one contained the same message, “Eat at Lee

Chu’s”.

Next came the entrees. I ordered the wild deer. I asked Cato if it was fresh and

He said it was just brought in this morning. I knew he was telling the truth after it was

brought out to me and I saw the tire tracks on it. I found the deer to be a little tough,

perhaps they needed a little more time to tenderize it.

The companion opted for the Seasoned Squirrel. We were told that the squirrel also

was fresh and brought in today. It looked fresh and we, for some unknown reason,

were given the tail of the squirrel in a take home container. Cato kept mumbling about

Daniel Boone. The companion found the squirrel to be a bit gamey. When told of

this, Cato told us to wait a little bit, a new batch should be coming in soon as the owner’s

children were playing in the trees in back of the restaurant.

For dessert Cato recommended the house speciality, “Mao-Say Tongue”. That is the

seasoned tongue of the “catch of the day”, which on that particular day happened to

be a skunk that was ran over in front of the restaurant. It tasted okay but had a rather

pungent odor to it.

CHINA QUEEN

**

WHERE: Hamburg

FAVORITE DISH: Mandarin Woodchuck

NEEDS WORK: They need stronger help to drag fresh road kill into restaurant

PRICE RANGE: Whatever you have in your pocket, including lint, paper clips and change

SERVICE: Prepare for a long stay, like you’re on a slow boat to China

HOURS: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. excluding days they are shut down by the Health Department