By Hardy Astrom

Tens of thousands of Americans protested big government and taxes on the most significant tax day of the year, April 15th. The local ‘Tea Party’ was held in Niagara Square, and included speeches by local activists who say that government spending has gotten out of hand. Medicaid and social services were at the top of the list of agencies that tea party attendees say should be at the bottom of the list when it comes to taxpayer responsibility.

Artist's rendering of Tax Protesters

“Give me your tired, your crippled, your feeble minded,” shouted organizer Allen Coniglio. “Give me your old and infirm and give me your lazy. Then you can give me a boat, some kerosene and a long wick!  There are no free rides in New York State!”

Several people dressed in revolutionary garb and many carried signs that called for a major reform in how state and federal governments spend tax money.

Most protesters targeted those who are on some type of public assistance. A sign held by 7-year-old Eric Dinter read “Humanely Kill My Grandmother Please,” while Marcus Costello proudly carried a homemade billboard that warned handicapped recipients of public aid: “If You Can’t Walk, You’d Better Run!”

Jim Lennon, of Lovejoy, carried a hand scrawled sign that read “Qualified For No-Show Job.”

“This isn’t so much a protest as it is an application,” Lennon explained.  “I want me a piece of the pie and I don’t want to have to get a real job to get it.”  Lennon said his rationale is simple:  “Politicians have shown me the way.  They do it all the time.”

The event took a turn for the strange when Councilman Brian Davis arrived in a limousine and began throwing stones at an effigy of Byron Brown he placed in front of the crowd.

“Are you sick and tired of getting screwed by the man?” Davis asked, adding “Down with big government!”  The Ellicott District Common Councilman then started lobbing stones at the effigy, which more closely resembled a large, wrinkled, sausage in a suit, tie, and glasses.

Davis’ stones landed harmlessly at the feet of a baffled couple with their young daughter.

Davis digs up rocks prior to protest.

Davis then set up a card table and hung a sign which read ‘Stones: 25 cents.’ “Cast a stone and cast your vote!” he called out to an increasingly confused crowd. As speeches were made and attention was drawn to the podium, Davis began passing out flyers advertising Rent-To-Own picket signs and magic markers.

Demonstrators were aware that the event isn’t likely to bring about any immediate change, and some were disillusioned following the event. “I was thinking we’d be flipping over police cars,” said a disappointed Marc Constantino, “but they handed me a tea bag and started talking politics. This is gay.”

As the event began to break up, Mayor Brown arrived in an SUV, and was engaged by Davis when a rock sailed past his head and hit an aide. “Get him!” shouted Davis. “Twenty-five cents a pop! Get him!”

A confused Brown, seeing his effigy, asked, “Is that my suit?”  As Davis’ stones missed again and again, the Mayor called security to have him removed.

Organizers said they have no plans for another event like this one.