By Larry Flesler

The 4th of July traditionally starts the Summer for me and thus I am taking a week off from my get fit routine and heading to my cottage. I’ll try to get in a little exercise but can make no promises regarding my diet (on the way here, I bought 3 pounds of Canadian bacon, a case of Coffee Crisp and a 12 cases of Labatt Ice).

I like to get an early start and head up to my cottage at Waverly Beach in Canada. Stu and Marie arrived last night and we unpacked while sharing a pitcher of Southern Comfort Manhattans. We laughed and reminisced about vacations past and were even able to get in a little slap and tickle.

Stu said he was so busy at work that he missed his bikini wax appointment and asked if I would be able to help. I jumped at the chance and Marie even offered to hold him down and stroke his forehead as I went to town with the hot wax and shaver.  Stu has a low threshold for pain so Marie stuck a red ball in his mouth to keep the screaming down. I did an adequate job but he still might look like he’s wearing a sweater-thong under his speedos.

At the cottage, Stu and I share a twin bed while Marie sleeps on the couch (although last night Marie joined us for a devil’s triangle after polishing off the remaining Southern Comfort).

We had a little interruption when my 92-year-old neighbor knocked on the door to welcome me back. I invited her in but she declined. It could have been the way I was dressed: my 4-inch stiletto heels, fishnet stockings and leather chaps may have surprised her.

Sweet lady, though.  I had a summer fling with her last year at the end of my stay.  It started when we were gardening and I tripped over a patio paver and toppled onto her. As I helped her up her sundress had fallen to her waist. She was topless and her accordion like breasts hit me in the leg.  I was instantly smitten. We rolled around in the herb garden for quite some time. I lost two things in the garden that night: my watch and my dignity.

I will try to share more details about my vacation over the next week as more guests come and go.