By Frank Brutus

Mayor Byron Brown, just days after sweeping to victory in the city’s Democratic primary, announced that Buffalo’s annual dredging for bodies in the Scajaquada Creek will take place this weekend.

Searching for bodies.

The Mayor, who claims to be “the whitest” African-American elected to the office of Mayor in any city in America, joked that “our CitiStat Department gets a little uneasy when the dredging starts because they know at the end of the day we’re going to have some statistics that the Police Department is not going to be happy with.”

Mayor Brown predicted the good news for Police Commissioner H. McCarthy Gipson is that dozens of missing person cases will be cleared from the dockets of the Police Department after the “bloated corpses of the city’s disappeared” are cleared from the scum-laden creek.

The Mayor reminded city residents that a $25 donation to his political action committee entitles Buffalo boosters to sit in a special viewing area where they can watch the bodies being pulled from the creek “up close and personal.”

According to the Mayor, grieving family members who are present to identify remains do not need to make the donation in order to sit in the VIP section.