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With ACA Repeal, Chris Collins May Lose Coverage Due To Preexisting Condition Of Gaping Asshole, Experts Say

With ACA Repeal, Chris Collins May Lose Coverage Due To Preexisting Condition Of Gaping Asshole, Experts Say

By Robert McFarty, Ruse Politics Correspondent As the 115th Congress gets down to work, talk of a quick repeal of the Affordable Care Act, known informally as “Obamacare,” is heating up.  Local Congressman Chris Collins, representing the 27th District of New York, is leading the charge to repeal the law, which among other things, prevents...
Ewe Have Know Idea About Patrick Cane Is Innocent Just Weight

Ewe Have Know Idea About Patrick Cane Is Innocent Just Weight

by Paul Cambria, Special to the Ruse Mr. Cambria, seen here appearing on local news after being bitten by a spider, represents Patrick Kane in an ongoing rape investigation. People should really stop talking about my client Patrick crane who is an ascend until proven guilty it is all starting too be a brunch of babble....
Teammates Attribute Brady’s Destroyed Phone to “Embarrasing” Scores on Words with Friends

Teammates Attribute Brady’s Destroyed Phone to “Embarrasing” Scores on Words with Friends

By Mucky Cleatson, Ruse Social Media Correspondent and Grammar Fascist  A large percentage New England residents have destroyed their smartphones in solidarity with Brady, leading to notable nationwide decreases in the rates of racist Tweeting and Dunkin’ Donuts Mobile Perk Points redeeming. The destroyed cell phone that served as the basis of NFL’s decision to uphold Tom...
After Appeal, NFL Reduces Brady Suspension to 4 Weekends in Buffalo Area Hotels

After Appeal, NFL Reduces Brady Suspension to 4 Weekends in Buffalo Area Hotels

By Bic Spagucci, Ruse Hospitality Correspondent The league has reportedly not yet settled on the specific motels where Brady will be required to stay, but plan to use a complex algorithm involving 911 calls and bodily fluid levels to determine the final locations. Just hours after the NFL Players Association filed an appeal of Tom...