Have a breaking Ruse news story? Email us! TheBuffaloRuse@gmail.com
Sports
Transcript of Bills GM Doug Whaley's Year End Press Conference

Transcript of Bills GM Doug Whaley’s Year End Press Conference

By Hairy Mulligan, Ruse Football Senior Reporter Transcript of Doug Whaley’s Year-End Press Conference At One Bills Drive Press: Doug, is there one thing you can point to that caused the firing of Rex Ryan? Doug Whaley: Happy New Year. Let me be clear: the recent comments made by Carl Paladino comparing First Lady Michelle...
Tyrod Taylor Spotted Laughing Near Bank

Tyrod Taylor Spotted Laughing Near Bank

By Sucky Greasin, Ruse Sports Bureau Chief
Ewe Have Know Idea About Patrick Cane Is Innocent Just Weight

Ewe Have Know Idea About Patrick Cane Is Innocent Just Weight

by Paul Cambria, Special to the Ruse Mr. Cambria, seen here appearing on local news after being bitten by a spider, represents Patrick Kane in an ongoing rape investigation. People should really stop talking about my client Patrick crane who is an ascend until proven guilty it is all starting too be a brunch of babble....
Teammates Attribute Brady’s Destroyed Phone to “Embarrasing” Scores on Words with Friends

Teammates Attribute Brady’s Destroyed Phone to “Embarrasing” Scores on Words with Friends

By Mucky Cleatson, Ruse Social Media Correspondent and Grammar Fascist  A large percentage New England residents have destroyed their smartphones in solidarity with Brady, leading to notable nationwide decreases in the rates of racist Tweeting and Dunkin’ Donuts Mobile Perk Points redeeming. The destroyed cell phone that served as the basis of NFL’s decision to uphold Tom...
With New Draft Class, Bills Hope To Finally Be Among NFL’s Elite Wifebeaters, Rapists

With New Draft Class, Bills Hope To Finally Be Among NFL’s Elite Wifebeaters, Rapists

By Jay Turdski, Ruse Bills and “Please, Please Not Another Swirlie, Richie” Correspondent   Seeking to build on the offseason momentum gained with the signing of maligned locker room bully Richie Icognito, Buffalo Bills management recently expressed hope that even without a first round pick, the 2015 Bills draft class may finally move the team into the pantheon...
Babcock Coaching Decision Looms; Sabres Fans Giddily Brainstorm Vulgar Sign Ideas

Babcock Coaching Decision Looms; Sabres Fans Giddily Brainstorm Vulgar Sign Ideas

By Mike Hairytounge, The Ruse’s Hirsute Harbinger of Hockey According to NHL sources, the Sabres and their fans will know by tomorrow morning whether or not Mike Babcock has decided to take his talents to Buffalo. The veteran coach will make a final decision after consulting with family this evening. Though it remains unclear in which direction he...
After Appeal, NFL Reduces Brady Suspension to 4 Weekends in Buffalo Area Hotels

After Appeal, NFL Reduces Brady Suspension to 4 Weekends in Buffalo Area Hotels

By Bic Spagucci, Ruse Hospitality Correspondent The league has reportedly not yet settled on the specific motels where Brady will be required to stay, but plan to use a complex algorithm involving 911 calls and bodily fluid levels to determine the final locations. Just hours after the NFL Players Association filed an appeal of Tom...