By Robert McFarty, Ruse Politics Correspondent
As the 115th Congress gets down to work, talk of a quick repeal of the Affordable Care Act, known informally as “Obamacare,” is heating up. Local Congressman Chris Collins, representing the 27th District of New York, is leading the charge to repeal the law, which among other things, prevents insurance companies from denying coverage based on a person’s preexisting condition.
Local healthcare experts expressed surprise at Mr. Collins’ eagerness to repeal the ACA, noting the Congressman himself has a preexisting condition which would likely make it hard for him to get health insurance without the law’s protections.
Mr. Collins suffers from a gaping asshole, a disorder which has no known cure. Though he rarely discusses it by name, those close to him say every decision Mr. Collins makes is inspired by his gaping asshole. As his former chief of staff, Chris Grant, put it, “this guy’s whole legacy, from closing libraries, to covering up prison abuses, to, even now, pushing 20 million Americans off the health care rolls, it all just screams asshole. It’s just really something to see how a gaping asshole can influence a whole region, maybe even the country.”
In any event, despite the likelihood that he will himself lose healthcare coverage, the Congressman intends to push forward with a full repeal of the ACA and hopes to come up with a replacement in six months.
The gaping asshole could not be reached for comment.