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By Tin O’Sheit, Ruse Correspondent for Homophone Issues 


Rock fans Ed Pitowski and Rachel Nemont say the Eden Corn Festival has come with “more tractor-pulling, and less vomit-dodging” than the event they were expecting.

Several attendees to the Eden Corn Festival, a family-friendly 4-day celebration of the “season of corn,” found themselves wishing they had more carefully scanned the event’s online advertisement before traveling up to 5 hours under the impression they would be seeing a music festival headlined by the 90’s nu-metal band who shares their name with the popular summer vegetable.

“We just should have paid more attention – they didn’t even spell it the same,” remarks Ed Pitowski, a mega-fan who has traveled across the nation to see the band. His girlfriend and fellow devotee Rachel Nemont added, “I thought something might be up when I saw all the pictures of kids and what looked like a parade, but I figured the fanbase has just grown up. I mean, the guys have been playing together since ’93.”

After the intial shock of their error and running into several others who had done the same, Pitwoski says that the motley contingent of black-clad, scraggly-dreadlocked would-be concertgoers decided to “make the best of it” and immerse themselves in all the festival had to offer, even entering some of its famed competitions.

As of the final day of festivities Sunday, Nemont reports that “our dog, Freak on a Leash, won the Hometown Pet Show on Thursday, and I think a couple of gals placed in the Festival Queen pageant. Oh, and our buddy Nickel-Bag Nate signed up for the cornhole tournament tonight, but I don’t think it’s what he’s expecting.”

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