Albany Street residents left to wonder, “How come nobody’s taking my money and screwing up the neighborhood?”

By Hardy Astrom

The streets are quiet.  No one is screaming, no squealing of tires.  There are no gunshots. No turf wars, no fighting over insignficant issues that come down to nothing but pride and narcissistic self-importance.  No one looking to extort money and spend it on their own status in the ‘hood.

The West Side has never had it so good.

Albany Street, often a haven for criminal activity, is usually run by members of the ‘CorruptSin’ and ‘Da’ Kriminalz’ gangs.  Both gangs promote community improvement and hold residents hostage with exorbitant ‘fees.’  The fees are said to protect homes from crime, to maintain the infrastructure, to allow good people to live in peace. The street has done nothing but decline in the past 9 decades, while both sides blame each other for the decay in their wake.

The reason for the stalemate in the ongoing battle of street supremecy is because of the defection of key members of CorruptSin to Da’ Kriminalz:  ‘Busta Phil’ and ‘DisOrda,’ two senior members of CurruptSin have switched alliance and joined Da’ Kriminalz.  The alliance switch puts both gangs even with 31 members each and the weapons count at a dead heat.

Minutes from last night's meeting displayed on a vacant house.

“I ain’t lyin’ to fool nobody,” said Pootie, a member of Da Kriminalz. “I just wants to plant some begonias ‘n shit, but I can’t ’cause they say it should be marigolds.  I’m just tryin’ to represent the folks that wants me to improve they current situation.”  Pootie maintains that he and the rest of Da Kriminalz were asked by most residents to watch over and improve Albany Street.  “It was the vast majority that asked us to,” he said.  “The vast majority.”

Members of CorruptSin have a different view.  DaMoney, who many see as the leader of the gang, feels that Da Kriminalz affiliation with the two defectors speaks volumes of their character.

“Why they gonna hang with brothas that ain’t honest?  They lie an’ tell all these people that they gonna take care of the street, pick up litter and whatnot, improve they quality of life, then they fraternize with two individuals ain’t nobody can trust?  Tol’ everybody ‘We wit’ CorruptSin.’  Den dey just jump off like that?  Ain’t right, ain’t right.”

DaMoney says that while many residents don’t agree with tactics like porch burning and intimidation, the neighborhood is better off with CorruptSin in charge.

DaKriminalz leader, JonJon, of no current address, disagrees.  “The people have spoke.  The people say they want DaKriminalz to do they work, and we will when CorruptSin do the right thing.”  Asked what the ‘right thing’ is in the current situation, JonJon replied, “I ain’t decided yet.”

Residents of Albany Street, first fearing the worst, are getting used to life without the two forces actively working against each other.

“It’s quiet,” said Bernie D. “I been talking to some of the other neighbors and we startin’ to do our own thing.  Cleaning up the vacant lots, painting some of the old houses.  Little Jose been taking some of the older folks to they doctor appointments with no interference or ‘tolls.’  It’s been peaceful.”

Maria Guzman is also happy with the current situation.  “Usually they fussin’ and fightin’ and nothing gets done anyway.  At least now we ain’t goin’ backward.”

Mayor Brown, fresh from a meeting with his advisors in Atlanta, says the time has come for a compromise.  “It’s my wish that DaKriminalz and CorruptSin can work together to come to some resolution here.  I’ll stand at the ready while they do just that.”