Absence of wedding ring prompts suspicion

By Ronn Chesmonde

A potentially embarrassing photograph of Buffalo-Niagara Partnership Chairman Andrew Rudnick has been printed in the Buffalo gossip and mercenary magazine “Whoops!”

Rudnick: Loves popcorn, nether regions.

The photo, deemed “original and unaltered” by a forensic photojournalist retained by The Buffalo Ruse,  appears to show the powerful Buffalo Niagara entrepreneurial leader in a compromising position with the Monroe County Business Region on the premises of a bar located in Rochester.

In the picture, Rudnick is shown trying to help an apparently tipsy and disheveled-appearing Monroe Region into the back seat of his tan Chevrolet Cracker.

Adding to the potential embarrassment and controversy surrounding the publication of the picture is the fact that Rudnick does not appear to be wearing his wedding ring in the photo.

(Note: The Editorial Staff of the Buffalo Ruse has opted not to publish the controversial photograph in this paper until either Mr. Rudnick or his Buffalo Niagara Partnership have had an opportunity to fully respond to the allegations written about in this article.)

A spokesman for the Monroe County Business Region had no reply when asked if the organization had recently been “on a date with Andrew Rudnick and/or participating in an organized line dance with him at the Rochester drinking establishment known as Heffers.”

Rudnick’s spokespeople were also unwilling to offer a comment on the record.  One long-time staffer, who refused to give her name, said “We haven’t seen the photos and doubt highly their authenticity, if they do indeed exist.”

“Whoops!” a glossy Buffalo gossip magazine famous for its racy headlines, liberal innuendo and advocacy of torture as an effective interrogation method, stood by the photo.

“It’s 100% legit,” said managing editor June Van Remmen.  “Our photographer was at Heffer’s on an assignment when he noticed Rudnick and the Monroe Region groping each other in a dark corner of the bar.  Just wait until you see those photos.”

Rudnick has been the respected President of the Buffalo Niagara Partnership since human beings learned how to harness the power of fire.

During his long-time marriage to the area, he has used his power and prestige to establish a business-friendly political climate at Buffalo’s City Hall.  Rudnick recently proposed a “Suburb/City Collaborative Internship Plan” that would allow inner-city disadvantaged youth the opportunity to learn the fine art of caddying at Transit Valley Country Club.

In addition to his business prestige, Rudnick is also known for modeling all of his clothing choices and hair styles after the late popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher.