By Jerry Mulligan, Ruse Sports Editor-At-Large

"I Guess So."

Former Georgia Tech coach Chan Gailey reluctantly agreed to take the head coach job offered by the Buffalo Bills after his wife Laurie told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to “buck up and bring home some bacon or I am leaving you tonight, Chan.”

The offer to Gailey was officially extended to the former offensive coordinator of the Miami Dolphins only after Leslie Brady, the head coach of Buffalo’s Burgard Vocational School Varsity Girl’s soccer team said she needed to “talk it over at length with my dad” after the Bills offered her the coaching reins in Buffalo.

According to Bills GM Buddy Nix, Gailey “rocketed” to the top of the Bills list of prospective coaches when “candidate after candidate” ranked ahead of Gailey rejected Nix’s offer to coach the hapless Buffalo football team.  “Some of them wouldn’t even call me back,” said Nix.  “They communicated electrically over the Interweb using Twister and MyFace to tell my assistants ‘no.’  It’s been a long few months but Buffalo’s long national league nightmare is finally over.”

Gailey’s track record of never beating his in-state rival University of Georgia was just one of the qualities that made him “150th on the list of perfect coaches” for the Bills said Nix.  “Chan is a proven ‘yes man’ who couldn’t demand a lot of Mr. Wilson’s money up front because he doesn’t have a track record of playoff success.  But he does know his way around a computer,” said the 70-year-old Nix, who admits that he has struggled since taking over as the GM when using “any technology that comes with a plug or a battery, other than my wife’s vibrator,” which she uses, he quickly added, “for her rheumatoid arthritis.”

Nix detailed Gailey’s “extensive collection” of American Football League action figures from the 1960s.  “This is a guy who can teach a quarterback the ‘Jack Kemp offensive method’ in a single weekend using the dolls that he collected from the long-forgotten days when pro football was a man’s game.  Chan lives and breathes the AFL strategies that most of today’s coaches never even know existed, which will give the Bills a leg-up in the department of rarely-used but possibly extremely successful offenses next year.”

Gailey has led a number of college and professional teams into the playoffs, only to see the hopes of both fans and management alike dashed in the first round.

“I guess I hope to bring some of those same mediocre accomplishments to Buffalo,” said a mumbling, down-trodden  Gailey from his home in Dorks Corners, Georgia.  Gailey’s wife was busy packing his bags while simultaneously arranging for her monthly “girls weekend” in Chatanooga.

A sedate and depressed-appearing Gailey would neither confirm nor deny reports that his wife had already hired Jim Ringo and Chuck Knox to serve as his assistant coordinators.