By Larry Flesler

-I love the idea of Tim Tebow in Buffalo, not as a Buffalo Bill but as my personal, on-call masseuse.

-I hope Tiger Woods returns to golf sooner rather than later. The game needs him badly. As much as I love golf, the thought of watching the likes of Colin ‘Mrs Doubtfire’ Montgomerie, Phil ‘I need a Mansier’ Mickelson and Rocco ‘Taco’ Mediate is not getting me too jazzed about the upcoming season.

-Speaking of Golf, John Daly announced he is retiring from golf after missing his second cut in as many tries at Torey Pines. The tour needs Big John.  His drinking, smoking, swearing and carousing is just what the PGA needs.  Seeing Daly is like watching Nascar: if you watch long enough you’re bound to see him crash and burn.

-My favorite movie for 2009 was Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It.’  I own a copy and have perfected most of his moves. Van and I have watched it over 100 times. My moonwalk is OK but watching Van moonwalk wearing nothing but square-toed cowboy boots is sublime.

-I haven’t had a good bowel movement in about 7 weeks.

-I always thought Pinky Tuscadero was hotter than her sister Leather.

-I love March Madness.  My pick is Syracuse.  Duke will not make it to the Final Four…too many white guys.

-I watched the State of The Union Address last week just to catch a glimpse of Nancy Pelosi.  Whenever I see her my belt buckle hits the floor.

-I was saddened to hear about the death of Burt Reynolds.  I loved him on Magnum P.I.

-I adopted my 9th cat last week.

-Godspeed Burt, Higgins is waiting for you.