Brown To Citizens:  “Can you spell MISL?”

By Hardy Astrom

Though the City was left holding the tab for over $160,000 in bad loans to a local entrepreneur, Mayor Brown revealed that they aren’t shy to gamble with taxpayers money again.

“Buffalonians don’t give up,” a smiling Brown said at a press conference yesterday.  “They get up and fight again.  No matter how bad the beating, no matter how degrading the humiliation, how risky the potential for blunt force trauma or staph infections.  This is a message to the world, ‘Bring it on…we can take more!’”

May be. May be not.

More surprising than the Mayor’s optimism in the wake of such a misguided failure was the face of the next risk.  Joining him at the podium was former Buffalo Stallion goalie Jim May.

“I am very proud to announce that the City of Buffalo will manage the formation of the Major Indoor Soccer League!  And after an exhaustive search, the City of Buffalo has been chosen for the League’s headquarters!”  Brown held the hand of May and held it up high in victory.

“League offices will generate over 11 jobs, and though several of those will be filled through a national search, there will be close to 4 jobs that will go to local citizens,”  Brown said.  He added that the investment opportunity came up when he learned that the league went bankrupt in both 1992 and 2008.

“I spoke with Mr. May about the possibility of resurrecting the league when he told me such a league existed at one time, excuse me, two times.  It seemed too good to be true.”

The mayor added that by funneling funds from initiatives such as the federal anti-poverty plan and the WIC social service program, league offices could be operational by January, 2010.

The Mayor then introduced Jim May as the Commissioner of the league, and May immediately donned the jersey of the league’s first franchise:  The Buffalo Windows.

The team has secured sponsership from Pella Windows.

“The Buffalo Windows,” May declared, “promise to be a fast-paced, high-scoring and exciting team.  And like any window, somewhat reflective.”  May clarified, stating that the team, “will always look at what it can do to be competitive.”

Brown assured City residents that City Hall will be closely monitoring spending and expenses.

“Experienced management  is the key and we are looking at several individuals to run the Windows as a model of sports franchise success.”  Potential candidates include former NHL referee Bruce Hood, retired WNED donation consultant Goldie Gardner, and the late comedian Paul Lynd.

“Not Lynd, of course,” Brown said.  “The executor of his estate.”

The Windows uniform colors will be white and translucent with clear numbers.