By Bob Loblaw

I’ve interviewed hundreds of Americans and have come up with the top ten reasons healthcare reform is good for our country:

10 - We’ll see less of Nancy Pelosi and her face of plastic.

9 - Joe Biden can finally get that Brain transplant.

8 - We’ll see less of Louise Slaughter’s pie face.

7 - We’ll hear less of Louise Slaughter’s Pennsyl-tucky accent.

6 - Obama can focus his energy on underinflated tires.

5 - America can focus on more important matters, like Tiger Woods’ sexting and Jon Edwards’ affairs.

4 - Obama can help wife Michelle on her quest to restrict Twinkie consumption.

3 - Obama can get back to running General Motors.

2 - Barney Frank can finally go public about his affair with Rush Limbaugh.

1 - Did I mention we’d get to see less of Nancy Pelosi?

By Bob Loblaw, On Assignment in Washington

President Barack Obama held a  State of The Union Address Wednesday.  Here is my review:

Is Biden Sleeping Again?

Proposed new ‘Sex Tax’ on all politicians: Politicians will have to pay $10,000 for every sex act performed outside of marriage. Anticipated revenue: $17 million.  Nancy Pelosi is upping the ante by offering $20,000 for anyone willing to engage with her in heavy petting.

$40 million construction bill: $30 million is earmarked for the massive ongoing project for Nancy Pelosi’s reconstruction.

Rush Limbaugh Flatulence Tax: Retroactive to 1994, revenue projected to exceed $70 million.

Child Obesity Initiative: Michelle Obama will start a program aimed at the alarming rate of child obesity in the US.  The first event will be the ‘Rolling of the Fat Kids’ on the White House lawn in place of the annual Easter Egg Roll.

Proposed ‘Sin Tax’: Taxes will be increased on Alcohol, Tobacco, Fatty Foods and Pornography.  Congress was reassured that it would not pertain to them.

The President also revealed that Jon Edwards is the father of the eight children born to the ‘OctoMom.’

The speech was cut short as Joe Biden looked increasingly uncomfortable during the address and was said to have soiled himself.

Pelosi: "Help Me."