Larry Flesler

• I think the Sabres should keep Lindy but remove Larry Quinn, not because of his managerial skills but due to his sometimes odd behavior. He once insisted on applying some lotion to my sunburned scalp while I interviewed him in the mid 90’s. He then asked if I was chaffed anywhere else and volunteered to check me over in private.

• There is nothing better than sitting home on Easter Sunday watching the Masters. I’ll have a spiral ham in front of me along with a dirty Martini and a case of Genesee Cream Ale.

• I have 2 tattoos. One of Phil Mickelson on my upper thigh, the other of Gene Wilder on my lower back.

• I miss throwing JARTS. I used to sharpen them on the sidewalk and throw them overhand at my brothers.

• I like to pass the time playing tennis with my old pal Van. He’s a very competitive sort. I never can score against him but recently won a point when his neighbor’s kitten wandered onto the court and he tripped over it. He grabbed ‘Mittens’ by the scruff of the neck and drop kicked him into the chain link fence while yelling “Game, Set, and Match!”

• I’m glad NY State is looking at legalizing gay marriage. I had a tryst in the mid 70’s with PGA pro Calvin Peete. We kept it private as society would not accept seeing us together in public and I’m sure our families would have objected had they known. Peete was a great driver of the ball and had a deft touch around the green. I had similar skills in the sack.

• I’m a big fan of shopping at Aldi. They have great prices and I don’t have to get all dolled up before I go. I leave my teeth at home, skip the deodorant, don’t shower and wear my leopard print Zubaz that I haven’t washed since the Bills’ last Super Bowl appearance.

• I wish Terrell Owens well. He has an open invitation to join me in my new Jacuzzi Tub.

• I lost my only belt.